Author: theempressdiariess

I'll be writing my diary entries about love, life, the gym and lots more entertaining things that happen in the life of the Empress! If you thought Bridget Jones was unlucky, stick with me, I promise I'll keep you laughing at my misfortune!
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26.10.21 – The National Snow Show with Urban Shredderz

On By theempressdiariessIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Dear diary,

This weekend I had the pleasure of supporting snow sports brand Urban Shredderz at The National Snow Show in Birmingham.

Side note – I write blogs for this brand part time ❤️

Urban Shredderz is a brand dedicated to encourage people from diverse backgrounds to try snow sports and to challenge cultural taboos when it comes to the sport.

I’m a big fan of their motto – Be defiant! Become the norm! As someone who is naturally defiant, this slogan is definitely something I relate to! 😂

Be defiant! Become the norm!

Whilst there, Urban Shredderz and I, were able to meet people from some amazing snow sports brands and Urban Shredderz founder Dazzle got to talk on stage and in front of the camera about all things brand related .

It was an amazing experience and I was honoured to be there with a brand who is striving for change in our community!

If you haven’t heard of the brand before, definitely check them out! They host events called “The Link Up” where like minded people go indoor snowboarding and catch a vibe! Sounds like my kind of thing!

The Link Up

Once you feel confident on the slopes after a few “Link Ups” you can join the group on a snow sports holiday abroad in the mountains!

A holiday full of fun, good vibes and good people? Mi deyah!!!

I’m yet to try snow sports but keep an eye out for that experience! It’s coming soon 🙌🏾

You can find Urban Shredderz at http://www.urbanshredderz.co or @urbanshredderz on Instagram

Peace ✌🏾 xoxo

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9.10.21 – Baby loss awareness week ❤️

On By theempressdiariessIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Dear diary,

Some of you may or may not know that a few years ago, I unfortunately suffered 3 consecutive miscarriages.

It was by far the hardest time of my life.

For years, I had suffered in silence. Only talking to a small few about things, not everything, but certain things.

Every year, on the 9th – 15th October, it is baby loss awareness week.

This week has always had negative connotations for me. I always link it to sad, deep emotions and traumatising flashbacks but this year, I feel a sense of community and strength now that I am being more open about my experiences.

I want to continue reaching out to others who have suffered a baby loss and connect.

Let’s keep reminding them that they aren’t alone.

What happened to us, wasn’t our fault.

We shouldn’t be embarrassed or ashamed.

We are still strong women! Men, so are you! You suffer too!

So to anyone who has been affected by baby loss, please feel free to reach out for a chat ❤️

I’d love to hear from you

xoxo

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19.9.21 – Come dine with me…

On By theempressdiariessIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Dear diary,

If you don’t already know, I love me some food!

Programmes like Master Chef, Dinner Date and Great British Bake Off are some of my faves!

As I’ve been knee deep in Celeb Master Chef for the last couple of months, it got me thinking…

“If I had a dinner party, who would I invite?”

Now, obvs, I would invite all of my co-d’s and my family but if I had 6 golden tickets to invite anyone I wanted – dead or alive – who would it be?

I didn’t have to think too hard to be honest.

Here’s who I would choose –

Nipsey Hussle – Nip was such an insightful guy. He often spoke about contributing to his community, which I found inspiring. When he passed, I was honestly devastated. I would love to ask him about his upbringing and what inspired him to take the route he chose in life.

Chadwick Boseman – Another soul gone too soon. Chadwick was Marvel’s superhero – Black Panther, King T’Challa. Chadwick did this and more roles whilst fighting cancer. I would love to talk to him about the roles he played and how he pushed through the physical pain of his illness to play his characters with such conviction.

Aaliyah – Beautiful Aaliyah. One of my favourite singers! Her music is timeless, unique and linked to so many of my childhood memories. I’d love to talk to her about the height of her career and what her biggest achievement was before she left us.

Mo the comedian – I’ve followed Mo since he started his sketches on social media. His laugh makes me laugh before I’ve even heard the joke! He’s soaring in his career at the moment and I would love to talk to him about breaking down barriers as a black man from London who is now on prime time TV.

Mary J. Blige – Another one of my fav singers. She has produced album after album of pure greatness. It’s no secret that Mary’s early life was hard, to say the least. I would love to talk to her about overcoming certain life issues and how it feels to be the Queen of Hip Hop and RnB.

And last, but by no means least….Rihanna! – My birthday twin. My Pisces hottie! Rihanna has built herself a billion dollar empire and continues to push boundaries and the goal posts. Just when you think Rihanna couldn’t do anymore, she shows us there’s no limit to her creativity or ability. I’d want her there for pure vibes and to talk about how she continues to create greatness.

Who would you invite to your dinner party?

Let me know

xoxo

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5.9.21 – Not this time,

On By theempressdiariessIn keep pushing6 Comments

Dear diary,

Mate, I’m feeling hella deflated!

I’ve decided to take a leap of faith and change my career.

It’s not that I’m unhappy with my job – I’m unhappy with my wage. For me, that and rude parents are the only cons!

So….I sorted out my CV, wrote a mint cover letter and started applying.

I must’ve applied for – no lie – 50 jobs!

So far, only 3 companies have offered me an interview 🙃

And from those 3 interviews, I fell at the last hurdle!

All I’m hearing is ‘no, no, no, no, no’ like I’m an original member of Destiny’s Child.

Being told no so many times is so deflating!

When am I gonna hear ‘yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah’?

I just wanna give up

I wanna say 🖕🏾🖕🏾🖕🏾I’M DONE!

But why am I struggling with rejection?

If one of the children in my class said “Miss, I’m done! I can’t do it”, I’d probably say the usual cliché one liners and tell them to not give up. Keep going. Keep pushing! We wouldn’t get anywhere if we gave up!

If I could throw a tantrum like a three year old – and I’m talking kicking and screaming, the whole deal – I would….no 🧢

But I can’t…

I’m a grown woman who needs to get a grip 😫

I really have got to keep going!

Everything I want costs money (🤷🏽‍♀️ let’s keep it 💯) and if I stay in my current job, I’ll never progress and get the things I want.

I know that I’m going to get knocked back more than I’ll get yeses.

I know that I gotta keep persevering!

The right job is out there for me. I’ve just got to keep looking.

And when the universe is ready, it’ll show me a sign.

So I guess, for now, the job hunt continues…

Doesn’t mean I’ll be happy about it 😒

Wish me luck

Xoxo

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28.8.21 – Chronicles of Covid-19

On By theempressdiariessIn Appreciation, gratitudeLeave a comment

Dear diary,

It’s been a minute since I’ve written anything.

Tbh, I’ve been slacking on the creative side, but once I got my mojo back, I was slapped in the face by coronavirus!

I’ve been walking around since the start of the pandemic, untouched.

I was going to work, mixing with 50+ children and adults. Going to the supermarkets. Seeing friends and family where the restrictions allowed us.

Now, I will be honest, I thought I was invincible. I thought either – I wouldn’t get it OR it wouldn’t be so bad when I did get it.

BOY WAS I WRONG!

As soon as the restrictions were lifted….BOOM!

I was hit like a ton of bricks.

The feeling came over me so fast, I just thought I was feeling the effects from the free bar at the wedding the night before.

It was horrendous!!

My cousins kept telling me to take a covid test but why would I need to? I don’t have covid…👀

I don’t know if all my followers have had C-19 yet but everyone I have spoken to so far have had different experiences.

Here’s how my experience went

It started with an extremely bad headache.

I had a horrible pain behind my eyes and I was sensitive to the light.

I had the worst back pain.

I had a slight shortness of breath but nothing too alarming.

My skin was sensitive to touch.

I was nauseous.

I threw up.

I lost my smell.

I had diarrhoea.

I was constantly dizzy.

Fatigued.

I lost my appetite and had the chills. Surprisingly, no fever!

The only thing I could keep down was orange energy drinks.

The worst part had to be the dizziness and the constant back pain!

The aftermath

Finally, 21 days after contracting C-19, I can say I am feeling about 90% better. I still can’t smell, I still get tired quickly and sometimes a shortness of breath will come on if I do too much BUT compared to the beginning of the month, I’m doing all right!

Guys. I’m no doctor, no medical professional nor no scientist.

But what I will say is this…Please look after yourself and stay safe.

Do whatever you can do to stay as healthy as you can be.

I do not want to experience that ever again.

I was grateful that, although, my experience wasn’t pleasant, I was able to bounce back. For some of us, that hasn’t been the case 😔

Take care

xoxo

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27.6.21 – Attack Of The Nostrils!

On By theempressdiariessIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Dear diary,

Yooooooo! I have been suffering for the past few weeks.

Hay fever has been kicking my arse!

Blocked nose that then turns into a runny nose, itchy throat – so I’m making that weird noise with my tongue to scratch the itch away, sore eyes, sneezes galore and that horrible cut grass smell that sets this all off!

When I first realised I had hay fever, it was during a P.E lesson in high school. I think it was year 7 or 8.

My eyes puffed up like huge red balls and would not stop streaming. My nose blocked up fast and saying things like ‘Mum’ or ‘mumble’ was a challenge (not that I was saying mumble often, I just needed you to understand words with an M were tough to say 😂)

I remember everyone staring at me, gasping like I grew a second nose 🤷🏽‍♀️

Anyway, when I got home, Mum told me what she thought it was and we got some anti histamines.

Fast forwards some years to when I moved to London and the pollen ruined me!!!

OH MY!

I couldn’t breathe through my nose at all. They were swollen and blocked to capacity. It wasn’t even that I had a blocked nose full of mucus – my nose holes had swollen up from allergies 😫

I always took tablets but they were never enough and I didn’t want to take the nasal spray. After a family friend told me about sprays and how much they helped her, I ran to the pharmacy and bought one. Within minutes I could breathe through my nose again and my poor mouth and throat could recover from the dryness caused by all the oxygen I had inhaled.

Now in my thirties, I have to take both hay fever tablets and the nasal spray.

How is this fair?

Why can’t the pollen let me live my best life?

Also, does anyone else experience disgusting hay fever symptoms on hot, rainy days?

They are literally the worst days for me! A humid, rainy day after a blazing hot day with a high pollen count!

Hurry up Autumn I say!

JK – Not had my Hot Girl Summer yet 😜

Peace xoxo

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4.6.21 – Is it right to have a type?

On By theempressdiariessIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Dear diary,

Whilst having a catch ups with the ladies a few weekends ago, we began talking about the opposite sex.

Our experiences, what we want from them, things they do or don’t do – so on and so on.

It lead me to ask the question “Do you attract your ‘type’?”.

Now, lets not act like we don’t have one! Whether it’s personality driven or more about physical appearance, we all have a type.

What’s mine you ask? – Well, if I could go into a shop and order a 6’6, melanated man with a beard, muscles, I’m buying 9 of them.

Looks was always my first go-to with the opposite sex. He had to be a straight 10 or else I’m not going there.

But if I showed you the catalogue of people I have dated or been in a relationship with in the past, you be like 🧐

I’ve dated tall men, short men, men the same height, working men, men out of work, men with ambition, men with zero ambition. I could go on but you get my drift!

Back to the conversation with the gal dem – I said back in the day, I had a type but as I’ve got older, the type has changed from physical appearance to personality, mentality, goals – basically, who you are as a person.

But when I stopped to think about it, how does a good looking male equate to being a ’10’?.

I began talking about my personal growth and how this affected the relationships I had.

Back in my teens, I was attracted to anyone that was popular. In my early 20’s, I wanted the bad boy that was wanted by all. By the end of my 20’s I became more about how I was treated and how they viewed a relationship. Do they want marriage, children, how do they feel about male/female roles in a relationship. Things like that.

For me (and I can only speak for myself) all of the good qualities in a person makes them beautiful.

You could have the face of a model, muscles for days and be the perfect height but have a horrible heart, treat people with disrespect and just be internally ugly.

So when I was looking for a partner, I was focusing more on the conversations we had, the tone in which they spoke to me, their views on life. And it’s that and much more that add to the physical attraction.

Some people are happy to base their relationship on just the appearance of a person and that’s cool. What works for Peter won’t work for Paul. I just want something that’s deeper.

DISCLAIMER!!! I am not saying people I have been with or am currently with are unattractive or are not a ’10’! Of course, I think majority of connections start from the initial look of a person, let’s keep it real. Everyone I have attracted have been a 10 in my eyes! But the point I’m making is I’m not just looking for just a physical attraction. I want more. If we take away sex and all those things, what else can my partner and I provide for each other? If there’s not much on the table, then where will the relationship go?

So is it right that we have a type? Absolutely! I’d simply encourage others to think about the entire package instead of just the packaging.

Peace ❤️ xoxo

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25.4.21 – 30 plus and no baby? 😬🧐😳

On By theempressdiariessIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Dear diary,

Since I was in my mid 20’s, all I’ve heard is “When are you going to have kids?” “If you don’t hurry up, you’ll miss your chance” “So and so has some already”….the list goes on.

I’m 32 and I still have no children.

Now all I hear is “You’re running out of time”, “If you don’t hurry up, he will leave you”, “I want grandkids”

I know women who are 37 and have just had a baby. I know someone who’s Mum didn’t have her until she was 40. I know people who, point blank, do not want children. End of.

Why does society put pressure on us to have children by a certain age?

What is the big rush?

Why does being in your 20’s mean you will be a better parent?

When I was younger, a lot younger, I wanted to be married by 20 and be a parent by 25. I wanted to have the same age gap between me and my mum, with my children.

By the time I was 19, I knew the first ship (getting married) would sail right past me rapidly but I still had high hopes for being a parent by 25.

I put pressure on myself and felt so heartbroken that I hadn’t lived up to the expectations that I and everyone else had set out for me.

According to my trusty internet searches, getting pregnant after 35 is considered extremely risky and that made me feel the pressure more.

But after speaking to several people, whether they are medical professionals, family members or friends of a friend, it’s totally normal for women above the age of 30 to have beautiful, safe pregnancies.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Looking back on my life so far, I have been able to do so much! I’ve travelled a lot, I’ve been able to move away twice, I can get up and go whenever I please and not have to worry about a mini me to sort out before I go.

Not saying you can’t do any of that with children, I am just saying, for me, I’ve been able to do what I want, when I want and I’ve loved it!

Now I’m in love and cannot wait to continue my life with my Bear so all those selfish feelings I had, are being put on the back burner.

I cannot wait for the day when I can surprise Bear and let him know we are going to be parents.

I can’t wait to let my parents know they will be grandparents!

But until then, I’ll keep on being patient and enjoying my life until my mini me comes and changes my life for the better.

Don’t let people dictate your life! Everything will happen when the time is right 😘❤️ Just keep positive!

xoxo

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11.4.21 – Overindulgin’

On By theempressdiariessIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Dear diary,

You hear from time to time that someone, somewhere has indulged more than what they should have.

It could have been too much exercise, too much alcohol, too many drugs…

My sin? Gluttony!

It’s no secret that since COVID-19 began, I have put on a fair bit of timber (as my partner would say).

Who knew your neck could have rolls?!

Sugar is my kryptonite! If it’s covered in chocolate, gimme 7 of them.

Everyone I knew began baking and who was their guinea pig? You guessed it 😇 and I loved every minute of it!

But can I really blame COVID for my over eating?

You could argue that I should’ve had the will power to say no to the boxes of delicious brownies.

I could’ve turned my back on the extra cheesy pizzas and yes, I could have left the alcohol in the cupboard…

but

I didn’t!

I’ve enjoyed myself!

We’re allowed to!

That’s what life is for 😘

But maybe I could eat the sweet things in moderation…

I’ll let you know how I get on 👀

xoxo

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28.3.21 – Wonderful Wellness

On By theempressdiariessIn Appreciation, gratitude, Wellness, YogaLeave a comment

Dear diary,

Yesterday, I experienced some wonderful, well needed wellness!

This week, whilst scrolling through social media, I came across a page called mind walk yoga.

They were hosting a wellness retreat online that included yoga and a sound bath!

I’m a big believer in the universe gives you what you need when you need it, so obviously, I was meant to see this post!

I love yoga and have always wanted to experience a sound bath so I whipped out my card and bought a ticket.

The session lasted for 2 hours and it was magical! We did some breathing and flowing practice with lovely Zakiya, floor/chair postures with empowering Karen who ended with a beautiful poem which made me emotional! (nothing new there!) and we finished with amazing Cherelle who transcended me to a calm and clear state of mind with the sound bath.

Now I know this may not seem like everyones cup of tea, but this was honestly the first time in a while, where I was able to have a free mind, my body still and I could release all the tension from within.

It was weird, I came out of the session feeling tired because I had relaxed so much but equally, I felt energised.

I was able to relax, control my breathing, appreciate the now and not worry about the future – although the thoughts did try to take over my quiet time. I connected to myself again and I haven’t done that in so long.

My mind has felt semi clear since the session and I can slowly feel all my worries and busy thoughts returning, but I am very grateful for these three incredible women for creating a safe space to allow me, and others who need it, a break.

So, for everyone who is feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, or stressed – take some time for you! Even if its 30 minutes. Sit in silence, clear your mind, meditate, put some calming music on, focus on your breathing and really try to connect to you again and give yourself the attention you need!

I read a quote today that said ‘if you don’t pick a day to relax, your body will pick it for you’ – And boy, ain’t that the truth, Ruth!!!

Be kinder to yourself

xoxo