Dear diary,

Whilst having a catch ups with the ladies a few weekends ago, we began talking about the opposite sex.

Our experiences, what we want from them, things they do or don’t do – so on and so on.

It lead me to ask the question “Do you attract your ‘type’?”.

Now, lets not act like we don’t have one! Whether it’s personality driven or more about physical appearance, we all have a type.

What’s mine you ask? – Well, if I could go into a shop and order a 6’6, melanated man with a beard, muscles, I’m buying 9 of them.

Looks was always my first go-to with the opposite sex. He had to be a straight 10 or else I’m not going there.

But if I showed you the catalogue of people I have dated or been in a relationship with in the past, you be like 🧐

I’ve dated tall men, short men, men the same height, working men, men out of work, men with ambition, men with zero ambition. I could go on but you get my drift!

Back to the conversation with the gal dem – I said back in the day, I had a type but as I’ve got older, the type has changed from physical appearance to personality, mentality, goals – basically, who you are as a person.

But when I stopped to think about it, how does a good looking male equate to being a ’10’?.

I began talking about my personal growth and how this affected the relationships I had.

Back in my teens, I was attracted to anyone that was popular. In my early 20’s, I wanted the bad boy that was wanted by all. By the end of my 20’s I became more about how I was treated and how they viewed a relationship. Do they want marriage, children, how do they feel about male/female roles in a relationship. Things like that.

For me (and I can only speak for myself) all of the good qualities in a person makes them beautiful.

You could have the face of a model, muscles for days and be the perfect height but have a horrible heart, treat people with disrespect and just be internally ugly.

So when I was looking for a partner, I was focusing more on the conversations we had, the tone in which they spoke to me, their views on life. And it’s that and much more that add to the physical attraction.

Some people are happy to base their relationship on just the appearance of a person and that’s cool. What works for Peter won’t work for Paul. I just want something that’s deeper.

DISCLAIMER!!! I am not saying people I have been with or am currently with are unattractive or are not a ’10’! Of course, I think majority of connections start from the initial look of a person, let’s keep it real. Everyone I have attracted have been a 10 in my eyes! But the point I’m making is I’m not just looking for just a physical attraction. I want more. If we take away sex and all those things, what else can my partner and I provide for each other? If there’s not much on the table, then where will the relationship go?

So is it right that we have a type? Absolutely! I’d simply encourage others to think about the entire package instead of just the packaging.

Peace ❤️ xoxo