Dear diary,

Well here we are. March 21st 2020 and people in the UK are beginning to self isolate from the invisible plague that is ploughing through continents. I wont lie to you, when I first heard about the coronavirus, I thought it would disappear as quick as it was created and we would forget all about it by the end of February. Now we are almost in April and its looking like we will be following in the footsteps of China and Italy, where staying inside and only leaving for emergencies such as food or health seems like the only way forward. Now, I try to avoid the news. I feel the news does nothing but scaremongers the masses and right now, sending peoples anxiety levels through the roof IS NOT helping anyone. A big heartbreak for me in all this (as well as death) is all the children that have been sent home until September due to the virus. I know millions of children are absolutely thrilled by this but I couldn’t help but shed a tear. I work in education and a lot of children in my care have SEN – Special Educational Needs. In my small class of 19, 17 have either dyslexia, confidence issues, processing issues, autism, ADHD, ADD, some children have English as an additional language (EAL) plus many more. Those children need to be school not only for educational purposes but because school gives them a routine. School gives them confidence, School gives them security. I have seen such a change in this beautiful bunch of children since September and it worries me how many steps back they’re going to take without being in a classroom. Now please, do not get me wrong. Health is the ABSOLUTE priority and everyone being safe will always be top of the list – I just worry that when all this is over, will my little loves feel confident to return to the classroom and continue on the way they did when they left?

Yesterday, our school closed its doors at 1.15pm and I said goodbye to the 7 children I had left. I was fine when numbers 1 and 2 left. 3 left. But by 4, I could feel my eyes start to prick as a mass of salty tears began to fill my eyes. I couldn’t help it! I knew I had to be professional and show the children that everything was going to be ok, but my heart broke into pieces. I bawled and I couldn’t control myself. Every parent was full of love. “Be safe!” “We will see you soon” “Look after yourself and your family”. It was like we were all saying ‘goodbye’, ‘not I’ll see you later’. Once the last little love had gone, myself and my colleague looked at each other and cried some more. It was hands down one of the saddest days of my 31 years.

Although I said “see ya soon” to some of my pupils and unfortunately haven’t to the majority of my class, there is a silver lining! My school is remaining open to those children who are vulnerable and for those parents who are key workers. Those who are going above and beyond to keep the world ticking over; Nurses, doctors, factory workers, supermarket workers, those who work in education, transport and utility, the police, health and social care as well as the police, ambulance and fire services can all send their children to schools as normal whilst they work their fingers to the bone. We wont be having our usual routined school day, however there will be a new time table filled with curriculum based activities as well as a lot more time for sports and the freedom to do a lot more arts & crafts and cooking classes! We might not be able to help everyone in this new, weird atmosphere we are living in but helping a little, really goes a long way.

I have no idea how long this will go on for. I don’t know how “normal” things will be once this is over. What I do know is how much gratitude I have for people. I started to lose faith in people recently. Humans have been so nasty to each other but this new situation, which is affecting all of us no matter colour, religion, social status etc, has got people giving back more than ever before and it is such a beautiful thing! I can only hope a lot of us have realised there is only one race – the human race – and we will all go further by continuing to give each other a helping hand.

Stay safe! xo